The only female member of the Mongolian expedition, Boglárka Vajda, has submitted her hilarious observations, which we have posted with her permission, below.
It is necessary for an expedition-hearted woman to seek out a Caatan-Mongolian horse adventure for herself. First of all, it is important to make sure that she is the only one representative of the fairer sex. Thus, whenever her peers of the opposite sex feel inclined towards chivalrous behavior, she has made sure, that she is the only one round to receive it. When strapping kit onto horseback, it’s worth asking a man, not otherwise occupied, to assist in this, while doing one’s best to look flustered and flattered while counting one’s lucky stars. Also, reconsider the fairness of equal task and burden alignment.
The expedition-hearted female notes with great joy, at the airport, that hers is not the bulkiest backpack of all. So, she can feel herself considerably ready for things to come. What’s more, she can pocket her first success when managing to pitch her tent all alone, for there are some for whom this represents a challenge in itself. Again there are some others who have unintentionally made their lives more difficult by purchasing too complicated equipment.
An expedition spirited, although office trained woman should expect her soft and sensitive hands to cry for ointments and a nail file after as much as the second day, but to no avail. What’s more, she wins an opportunity to put the auto-cleaning functions of the human hair under serious scientific examination, even going as far as consulting with experts on the matter.
An expedition-hearted woman will find her match in the expedition-hearted Mongolian horses. Supplemented with internal pace controller and attached packhorse control panel. Extra gears such as dusty-lazy canter and pace bisector such as rapid or slow stumbling. In order to fall into the rhythm of a distressed sewing machine it is highly recommended that the female comrade attires herself with good quality-high performance sport lingerie as the Mongolian team leader will prefer to hold pace-interval-modification drills: five seconds of light trot, five seconds of slow cadence and vice versa. Vocal prompt: chu!
The expeditional woman will arrive to the conclusion that her horse is a being above all others, and should be taken back home, but an inkling suspicion arises: all other comrades regard their horses in the very same manner. Upon arriving back home though, the local horses appear gigantic compared to the Mongolian ones.
A woman of an expeditional kind will only be mildly frustrated when encountering low quality gear and will promptly begin speculations on how many pieces of string should suffice in keeping the bit safe and sound in the horse’s mouth. Wisely, she leaves the transition from theory to practice to the locals or to her chivalrous peers, in the well-known manner (see above). Should she find herself in want of equipment (i.e. saddle) she will bend a listening ear to the advice of her fellow travelers and embark upon a search spree in the Mongolian forest, while taking the constant interrogation as to the exact whereabouts of the afore mentioned saddle, well in her stride.
If a woman, born to a life of expedition, is a bit clumsy at times, then she should always use both her hands upon entering a tepee as a guest, thus she will not commit any embarrassing faux pas. On the other hand, when camping wild she will think even the stem of a spoon as unnecessary luxury regardless whether she uses it with her left or her right hand. The expeditional female will remember the creaminess of fresh yoghurt and the home smoked taimens in her dreams once back home, even if she doesn’t much care to remember the taste of airag (traditional Mongolian drink made of mare milk) or the spiceless boiled mutton. The next time, she notes, she must remember to keep odd packets of assorted gifts and offerings at hand in her saddlebag as this greatly improves her chances of reaching her destination successfully.
Having to go without a day of rest the expeditional woman will snatch a few minutes of sleep here and there by shifting her horse into autopilot mode. She has no trouble in adapting to the Mongolian mentality that is even worse than the Latin manana-existential experience, where not only the question of when is constantly reinvented but the question of what seems to form an additional, incessantly changing entity, irrespective of any previous discussions or agreements. Here a smiling djaa can mean agreement and refusal at the same time, regardless of the fact that the afore mentioned string of sounds might not even make sense in the given context. She is well aware of her vulnerable and dependant position, though, for if a Mongolian horse decides to break loose then it is only the Mongolian guide who is able to bring it back from the vast and uninhabited plains
A woman of expedition is dazzled by the Mongolian distances, the intensive colors of dreams around her, the grandiose formations of nature all around, the slow, heavy flight of predator birds in the sky, the strange dance of the cranes, the endlessly rolling silk of Edelweiss, the green, the blue, the sky the waters, and the land as far as the eye can see. Even the group of riders, making their way across this landscape, represents an additional aesthetic experience.
The expedition-woman will note that even the initial phase of the trip feels like an expedition on its own. The 30-hour-long UAZ drive is a wonderful opportunity for indoor teambuilding, turned into an outdoor experience as soon as the tents are up and standing. An amazing treasure trove of opportunities for the organization-development and communication experts back home. Prompt problem solving exercises on the mirror-flat steppe: how to discard the product of our kidneys, undetected, in expeditively feminine manner?
The woman of expeditions is greatly disappointed that she cannot try riding a reindeer Catan-style, due to lack of time and she is saddened by the fact that she has not encountered shamanic ceremonies, but she keeps it in mind that the program is an outline and not hardcore prediction. Even under the influence of an impressive dose of cramp-relief while stumbling over marshy-rocky trails she is able to appreciate the uniqueness of the taiga-tundra border zone and on the way back enjoys the invention of horse-canyoning immensely.
A woman, whose very being spells expedition, upon returning to Hatgal, can try her hand at trip and expedition management while later she hopes for a slightly more spacious limb-movement zone; for the closely marching squad of a group thus does not prove very efficient in shopping. She is exceptionally pleased with the bonus outing in Peking, as well as with the theory and practice of photo filing and sharing.
It warms my heart to have been part of such a great team.
You were sweethearts, it was a whopping trip, and I miss you all, already!!
xxx,
Bogi